Eating Your Feelings

Woof.  The last two weeks have been rough to say the least.  To fill you in on what's going on- my grandfather had a kidney removed on Tuesday to try and squash some cancer he had growing on it- bad news is, they weren't able to get all of the cancer.  SO.  I've been back and forth to the hospital, no time to cook, no time to blog.  Life has equaled work/hospital/family stuff, and that's about it.  Emotionally, it's been really hard for me and my family- dealing with everything that comes with bad news.  Not only is he close to me as a relative, but he's also the founder of the company I work for.  My sister and I are his only grandchildren.  This news has been devastating.

I've spent a few evenings at home on the couch with TallBoy, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, Buster, and a bottle of wine.  Coping.  It's hard to see anyone you love be in pain and not be able to do anything about it.  So I've been skipping the gym, and eating a lot.  I know it's bad for me, it makes me feel worse and not better- and somehow I can't stop.  I'm going to squeeze in a class at the gym tonight- I think it'll help me take my mind off of things for an hour, so I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm up a little again this week, but I'm going to try coping with some new workouts if I can fit them in, and not with food.  Although I can guarantee I'll have at least one scoop of ice cream this weekend.

This week: +.4 lbs
This year: -4.6 lbs
Total: -14.2 lbs

A Little Step Back

I just wanted some cuteness in this post!

I gained a pound this week.  Not too bad in the scheme of things: it was over a holiday, and there has been some stress lately.  I'll lose it again, plus more- I'm sure of it.  Like I said- I'm trying to be positive in the face of bad news- not just about weight.  There's so much more to my life than this number on the scale- and sometimes life really puts that into perspective for me. 

It's a really short post today- I've got other things to do than blog! 

This Week: +1.0 lb
This Year: -5.0 lbs
Total: -14.6 lbs

It's Going To My Head!

I'll be honest, hearing "whatever you're doing, it's WORKING"- is awesome.  It feels so good to hear because I've been working really hard.  I've even noticed certain things that used to take a lot of talking myself into (like ordering healthy food at a restaurant, or working out when I get home) are much easier to do.  However, I can feel myself slipping sometimes. 

The other times I've lost weight I usually get to this point (right about where I am right now) that I get really proud of how I look and feel, and get reaaaaaaaal comfortable.  Comfortable- not always a good thing.  Usually I don't really realize it; get back on the eat and drink whatever I want train and gain the weight back. 

This past weekend, I attended a fish fry, a birthday dinner, and Easter dinner.  I ate with reckless abandon.  Today it showed on the scale.  So what am I going to do?  Kick up the veggies.  Eat less, exercise more.  That's what works, and that's what I'm going to do.  I'm committed this time to keeping it off, not losing and gaining over and over again.

This blog post is more for me than you, dear reader- but I just needed to get it out there- this blog helps me keep accountable!

I've Lost a Buster!

15.6 lbs of pure joy

First things first: I didn't lose Buster.  He's fine and dandy, probably sleeping a sunbeam at home right now.  Or looking out the window.  Or doing other dog things.  In other words, safe and sound.

What I mean, is that my total weight loss is currently equal to what Buster weighs.  And that's awesome, because he is one fat puppy.

We had our Wellness Tracks graduation last night, and I was honored with special recognition for doing really well in the program.  Needless to say, I'm really proud of myself.  Plus, I got a $25 gift card to Heinen's, my favorite grocery store.  The class as a whole did amazingly though: Overall we lost something like 300 lbs, and 132 inches.  A few people said that they have been taken off of cholesterol and blood pressure medication- one lady has even lost 70 lbs over the past year, and has gone through the class twice.  I think everyone left last night feeling inspired and ready to stay on track with being healthy.  I know I am.

One thing I know I need to work on: positivity.  TallBoy told me last night that I need to be as happy about a loss as I am sad about a gain- that sounds weird, but I know that when I'm down about a loss, I treat it like a much bigger deal then when I have a really good week and lose.  So today, I'm celebrating a loss!  Not only did I take off what I gained last week, but I'm down even more than that. 

Cheers to the weekend!  Happy Easter!

This Week: -2.4 lbs
This Year: -6 lbs
Total: -15.6 lbs

Checking In On New Year's Resolutions

My tubby puppy

The first blog post I did this year was about my goals for the year.  Then the other day I realized I should probably check on those more than just once a year.  So I figured we're about a quarter of the way through, let's have a progress report.  Here are my goals and how I'm doing so far:

• Keep tracking food, as much as possible.
• Check!  I've been relentlessly tracking my food on LoseIt.  It's probably the most useful weight loss tool I've used, and that includes Weight Watchers.  Not only that, but I've been really mindful about what kind of carbohydrates I'm eating and using the app to keep my proteins/carbs/fats in check.
• Keep going to the gym- learn more about strength training.
• Check!  I've gotten into some classes that I really enjoy- and my Wellness Tracks program has taught me how to use weights.  It's a winning combination.  Next up would be to try some power/weight classes.
• Keep working on the blog.
• Um, check?  Actually I haven't been doing as many posts as I'd like, but I'm working on it!
• Lose another 10 lbs and keep it off! 
• On my way!
• Start and keep track of a budget- put money in SAVINGS!
• Check and check!  This is something I'm REALLY proud of this year.  I'm actively saving and really mindful when I'm shopping.
• Cut down on drinking.
• Check and check.  My tolerance is about non existent now... but it's nice because my willpower is so much better.  I can enjoy one glass of wine instead of polishing off half the bottle.
• Floss everyday!
• Um... not really.  I know, gross.  But I did get an electric toothbrush and I know my dental health has improved.  But this is something I really need to work on.
• Keep the house neater.
• Again- BOOM! CHECK!  Spring cleaning has commenced.  The house is looking good, and staying neat.  It took a few months to get this down, but so far, so good.
• Give Buster less table scraps
• Um.......................  He's looking a little fat.  I keep telling everyone it's just his 'winter coat' but he's got a bit of a tummy.  We have started only letting him lick one plate after dinner instead of both, and I've been walking him around the block now that the weather is nice.  This is another one I have to work on a little more.