Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Recognizing Your Weaknesses

I'm at the point in my life where I have done a lot to educate myself on nutrition, I'm learning more and more about fitness, and yet- I'm stuck because I refuse to have one weekend where I eat well the entire time.  I know what you're all saying (the same thing TallBoy says to me): it's the weekend!  Pizza's okay on the weekend, as long as you don't eat it during the week!  My nutritionist even told me that when I showed her my food diaries last week.  That could be true, if I were trying to maintain.  But I'm not.  I'm actively trying to lose and I keep sabotaging my progress.

During the week- I eat healthy.  I mean, really, really healthy.  I'm so good about watching my food intake, getting in the right nutrients, going to the gym, etc.  Even on Saturdays, most of the time I'll make it to a Group Groove class at the gym, write down all my food, and eat healthy most of the day... but then, Saturday night comes.  Which is fine, because I exercised and ate healthy all day.  But THEN Sunday morning comes.  Let me just write out what I ate this past Sunday:

Breakfast: pancakes, bacon, maple syrup, coffee. 
Snack: The rest of the pancakes.
Lunch: Half of a frozen pizza from Heinen's.
Snack: Made a batch of no-bake cookies.  I ate half of it, TallBoy ate the rest.
Dinner: (not that I was hungry, mind you- I was STUFFED. And yet... I ate again anyways.)  Plain noodles with butter and Lawry's seasoning salt.
Throughout the day- a bottle of Framboise Lambic.  

I added it up- it was 3,000 plus calories of mostly refined carbs.  Guess how much exercise I did? Zilch.  I barely moved off the couch.

Now, lazy days every once in a while are fine- everyone needs a break.  But this is my Sunday.  Every week.  This is my problem.  I know what I'm doing is wrong.  Even when I got out the ingredients to make no-bake cookies, I said to myself... WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? And I went ahead and made them anyways.

I spend Sunday destroying the progress I've made during the week, and then spend the rest of the week trying to recover and maybe just *maybe* lose a tiny bit more.  I'm making this so much harder on myself than I need to, just because I have this voice telling me, it's okay!  You earned it!  But I haven't yet.  I guess I'm just pissed off and disgusted by myself today, angry that I'm on this plateau because of my self-sabotage.  I know the only way out of it is to just power through, but it's so hard.  My nutritionist told me that addictions to sugar and fat are literally just as hard to break as addictions to hard drugs, and while I've thankfully never been addicted to heroin, I love white flour and butter.  A lot.

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