Winter Will NEVER End

I'm pretty sure Buster is sick of the snow too.

...or at least that's really how it feels.  The snow just keeps falling.  Each time I think Spring might be around the corner, a fresh batch of snow comes and punches me in the face.  Stupid snow.  Listen, I made my living in Cleveland bed, and I'm lying in it.  I know this happens here.  And I'm fine with winter, until the 'first day of Spring' rolls around and we get three more inches of snow.  Then I'm done.

However, this post is not about snow.  It's my weigh in post, and it's about staying the same.  I didn't lose this week, but I didn't gain either.  I count it as a win.  Maintaining when I'm not only faced with Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, Girl Scout Cookies, and an additional 3" of snow?  WIN.  GO ME.  Seriously.  I'm amazing.  Screw you, Punxatawney Phil.  You have deceived us one last time.  I hope someone goes Bill Murray on your ass and drives you over a cliff. 


This week: -/+ 0.0 lbs
Total 2013: -10.8 lbs

Celebrating Every Goal

Post Thankgsiving- one of my favorite pics of Tallboy and my Grandpa

I did it!  I reached Goal #2- 10 lbs off!  10.8 to be exact.  I feel like I've been on a bit of a plateau these last few weeks, and I'm happy to reach this milestone.  Not huge, considering how close I've been for weeks, but I feel like I broke through some sort of barrier.  I'm at the point in my weight loss where clothes I've been wanting to fit into for a while fit again, and I look/feel good in them.

Next goal: 15 lbs. 

I have, however, been fighting the urge to dive head first into a box of Samoas- the Girl Scouts are out, full force around here/emotions are high- not a good combo.  My Grandpa broke his hip on Tuesday, had a partial replacement yesterday, and is recovering in the hospital now.  It's extra tough on him- he's 91, so everything is that much harder.  I'm really trying not to eat my feelings here, but I've been really worried about him the last few days.  So far, everything is going the best it can, given the circumstances. 

This week: -1.6 lbs
Total 2013: -10.8 lbs

Laugh Yoga

Lets be THIS happy this weekend.

So, I took a Laugh Yoga class the other night.  It was super weird, but highly entertaining.  The whole concept is 'fake it 'til you make it'- basically you do weird things and fake laugh until you start real laughing.  Why?  Because laughing is good for you.  I don't think anyone would argue that.  While I don't think I'll be signing up for Laugh Yoga on a regular basis, it certainly did make me think about the amount of joy and laughter in my own life.  According to our instructor, children laugh about 400 times a day.  They laugh at anything and everything.  As adults, laugh more like... 10 times a day.  So... we laughed.  For 45 minutes.  We did laughing chants, and I'll be honest, at one point, I was LAUGHING.  Like, can't control myself, crying, laughing.  For real.  It was nice.  At the end of the class, he told us about things that he does during the week- rituals, if you will, that made him happy.  I think the world would be a million times better if we all followed these rituals.  I'd really like to work these into my own life.

On Monday- Say nice things to people.  Maybe just one or two people- but if you think someone looks nice, tell them so.  Instead of just thinking it, actually tell them.  If your waiter was wonderful, let them know, don't just tell the person you're eating with.

On Tuesday- Do something new.  Instead of following your daily routine- maybe take a different way home from work.  Try a new recipe.  Just do something you've never done before, and open your horizons.

On Wednesday- Be grateful.  Instead of thinking of the things you don't have, appreciate what you DO have.  Maybe your work is stressing you out right now, but try and put it out of your mind and think of something that you already have that makes you happy.  Be Grateful.

On Thursday- Spread kindness.  Pay for the person behind you in line at the coffee shop, or the person behind you at the toll booth.  Just do a random act of kindness.  Do you see that old lady trying to cross the street?  Don't just think about helping her, just get off your butt and do it.  You'll feel awesome.  Random acts of kindness don't just benefit the person you helped, YOU will feel great for doing it.

On Fridays- Learn to forgive.  It's the end of the week.  Instead of focusing on how crappy your week was, face those feelings, and try and forgive.  Not just someone who wronged you, but forgive yourself for beating yourself up.  I blogged yesterday about trying to NOT be hard on myself.  It's Friday.  I'm going to forgive myself and try to learn from it.

On Saturdays and Sundays- Rest, Relax and Recreation.  Sleep in!  Get outside!  Breathe deep!  Our instructor said on weekends he turns his phone OFF.  I don't know if I could go that far- but I do think I need to focus less on work e-mails/ facebook/ etc. and get outside, do housework, things that will make me HAPPY when they're done.  I love painting and I haven't touched a canvas in months.  Maybe this weekend, instead of watching another mindless TV show or checking facebook, I'll get into my studio and paint.

Lets work some gratitude and joy into our lives- and instead of just focusing on our bodies health, focus on our mental health. 

Have a great weekend!

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Dog Gone It, People Like Me

I was thinking this morning that I'd love to not have to count calories.  That's my goal after getting to a healthy weight- to know the right amount of fuel for my body, without having to write down every bite that I take.  It's a nice dream, but I know from past experience that once I stop journaling, I almost immediately gain back whatever I've lost.  I'm not trying to turn this into some sort of Debbie Downer post today- I just think sometimes we have to acknowledge that our natural state of willpower or appetite isn't what anyone elses is.  Are there tons of people out there happy with their bodies (no matter what weight/state they're in)- yes.  Do all of them religiously write down everything they eat?  Probably not.  I mean- when I workout- I use not one, but two devices to keep track of the calories I burn.  A FitBit, a glorified pedometer, and a Polar Heart Rate Monitor, to more accurately keep track of the calories I burn during non-cardio exercises like weight lifting, that a FitBit can't really track.  It's a little ridiculous.  But I do it, because it works for me.  I don't think anyone would say I have a problem or a disorder, but that's probably because I'm an overweight woman actively trying to lose weight.  To get healthy.  On the other hand, if I were 50 pounds thinner and using the same amount of devices and constantly talking and thinking about the amount of calories I took in and expended during the day, I'd probably get labeled as someone who has an eating disorder.  It's a very fine line to walk, and I'm not really sure how to walk it sometimes.

I wish I wasn't constantly thinking about food in an unhealthy way- I'm writing this blog and working out for the single purpose of being 'healthy.'  But when does it cross the line from trying to get in shape to an all consuming thought of not being good/healthy/skinny/fit enough?

I am aware that not everyone is born with the same body shape.  It's not like women are born as leggy, thin, toned beings and then choose to morph into whatever shape we become- we all KNOW that we're different shapes.  So why aren't different shapes generally accepted as being good?  I have friends who are in amazing shape- they are mindful about what they eat, they exercise, they're GOOD to themselves- and YET- they don't feel like they're beautiful or meet the norms of what they "should" look like.  Why can't we just be happy by knowing we're doing right by ourselves and this is how we're SUPPOSED to look?  It's extremely frustrating to both know that this is my body shape, it will be for life- I'm not going to shape my muscles and bones into a completely different structure no matter how hard I try.  So why isn't just eating healthy and working out good enough for me?  I feel great when I'm workout out regularly and eating healthy.  But when I'm not at my 'goal weight' it starts to creep in that I'm not doing enough and maybe I'll never be able to do enough to reach my goal, so fuck it.  What a terrible attitude to have.  But that's probably why I keep gaining the weight back.  Because I can't be happy with a small victory- I feel the need to attain impossible goals.  I might as well be mad at myself for not having grown an additional two inches during the process as well.

So, after this long, weird, rant- this is my goal for the week: Don't get mad at yourself for achieving small victories.  They're victories, after all, and they should be celebrated.  I'm down a little at the scale this week, but even better than that, I dug down and found the will power to exercise more than usual this past week.  I'm getting stronger, and that's awesome.  I was disappointed this morning that I *only* lost .4 lbs from last week- but it's the right direction.  Don't beat yourself up.

This week: -.4 lbs
Total 2013: -9.2 lbs